The Misunderstanding

So Saturday was my Uncle G's funeral and things went well, kind of rambly from the minister, but okay. My Uncle would have preferred it to be much shorter I am sure, but there were a lot of good things to say about him. The church was standing room only, it was a nice tribute to him.

Now, the misunderstanding, well it came near the very end of the message from the pastor. I wish I could let it go, but I have not yet been able to, you all might think it silly, so please tell me so. The pastor said something about how he was the kind of person who helped family members adopt little GIRLS from overseas. Okay, he was obviously referring to my little family - we are the only ones with children born "overseas". BUT, the way he put it obviously leads to all kinds of misunderstandings, first of all being Meesta is a boy, pure and full-blooded boy. Second, "overseas" just sounds kind of patronizing or something to my ears. Finally, and probably most disturbing to me, is that everyone left that church thinking that he and my aunt GAVE US MONEY for our adoptions. Now, while my aunt and uncle very likely would have done so had we asked, WE NEVER ASKED. WE SACRIFICED AND WENT INTO DEBT OF OUR OWN ACCORD, WE NEVER ASKED MONEY FROM FAMILY, WE NEVER HAD A GRANT OR ANYTHING, WE DID IT ON OUR OWN. I guess this is a pride thing on my part, but when you have done something on your own and it was not easy, I don't want others thinking we went around asking everyone for money to fund our adoptions.

So, while this really has nothing to do with my Uncle, it has left me with an uneasy feeling about the ceremony itself. Hopefully time will ease this irritation from my head and heart (again, not about my Uncle), but right now it is quite prevalent.

And while I am b*&ching...lots of people said how cute our kids were, etc - people from our hometown who have never seen them. To one I said, thank you, I agree, hoping that is not arrogant since we really didn't have anything to do with it. She responded by saying, well, you picked them out didn't you? NO, THEY ARE NOT PUPPIES AT THE POUND, WE DID NOT PICK THEM OUT. This is the second time in the last year this has come up and it just makes me realize how many people probably think we "shopped around" to pick out the cutest of the bunch. Not sure why this bothers me so, but it does. I responded by saying no, these are the children God picked for our family.

This actually makes me think of the situation of how we got Doodle's referral, another family turned her down after seeing her picture because of a scar on her forehead. They already had a daughter born in China who was "so beautiful, they did not want their Cambodian daughter to feel bad about herself." (paraphrasing a bit, but that was the message) If you could see my Doodle, and the fact that with her came a twin brother named Meesta, well thank GOD that the other family turned her down! Now, I would love and adore my children if they had green skin and purple eyes and would think they were the most beautiful creatures on earth, so don't think I am all about looks!

Am I just grouchy and out of sorts and should get over the "helped them" comment at the funeral? Again, it is not that my Uncle G would NOT have helped had we asked, but we did it ON OUR OWN.

CC