Monday, November 26, 2007

How do you know?

So a question has been popping into my mind more and more lately, and I just can't come to a settled conclusion. What, you ask, would puzzle CC to such an extent? It is simple, is our family complete?

It is such an overwhelming question and there are days that I say yes, and moooostly mean it, but most of the time I say no and do meet it. I believe we have another son, somewhere, out there, you know, somewhere. It would be adoption as our babies don't arrive the traditional way, but the work and time and funds that are involved are all-consuming and I just don't know if I have it in me to do it again. The adoption of the twins was very very difficult and I truly likely have a bit of adoption PTSD because of it all. Shenzy's was less traumatic, but still all-consuming.

When I ponder whether our family is complete or not, I typically come to the conclusion that it is not, but that our son (should there be one...somewhere) will find us. What does that mean - well I am not sure exactly. I just have the feeling that somehow we will be notified about a child that needs a family. That has been my gut instinct as I have prayed about this over the last year or so.

Tonight, I received an email from a friend informing me of a situation about a boy that might not be able to stay in his home and I could not help but wonder if this was him. I do not have that gut instinct that it is absolutely him, but I wondered. Time will tell of course, and perhaps our next (and final) child will "adopt" us when he is older, a friend of one of our kids or something, maybe that is what my gut is telling me.

With our 3 here plus our 2 girls in Cambodia, you would think I would not have these thoughts, but we have a lot of love and the resources to care for another child (sans the college tuition thing...) and I wonder if we are done? How do you know?


Saturday, November 24, 2007


Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, it isn't about presents, just family and good food. For the past 3 years we have had "nontraditional" Turkey Days, last year we rented a cool log cabin in the woods and spent our time playing games, hiking, and enjoying the hot tub in the dark; the year before that we were in Florida as well as the year before that.

This year D and I made a traditional meal and had our moms come over to eat with us. It was nice and relaxing, and the kids enjoyed time with their grandmas. I have always been thankful for the relationship our parents have had, easy-going and non-threatening with each other.

We then went up to my Aunt P's house, where my other aunt, uncle and cousins were as well and we played Apples to Apples and Outburst, both fun - but very loud games with the number of us and our spouses, etc. It was nice to be with Aunt P though as this was her first year without my uncle who passed away in February to cancer. I am thankful that she is continuing onward and trying to find joy when and where she can, despite her tremendous loss.

I am so thankful that we have healthy happy children, including our girls in Cambodia. They have been in contact with us and they have hopes and dreams for the future that hopefully we can help them fulfill. We continue to be concerned over our Doodlebug's epilepsy, but must remain positive and thankful that she is here and we can get her the best treatment available for it. Meesta and Shenzy remain their delightful selves as well, full of fun and life.

I am constantly giving thanks for my husband and our relationship. While we have been through some serious transitions this year with school, moving, selling house, him being gone so much, etc - we have come through it stronger than ever and more committed to our dreams and goals. I am blessed beyond belief.

I am thankful for a warm and safe house, enough food to eat, transportation, my faith, my family and my friends.


Life is This Good...

Sunday, November 04, 2007


After many prayers and some concessions to a very rich and much older man...our beautiful home has sold. This is a very good thing, but also sad. We loved that house, it was a dream come true for 2 kids who grew up fairly poor. I had envisioned seeing our kids float down the stairs in their finery for their first dance...their prom...graduation...weddings. That house was where we brought our Shenzy home to and where Doodle and Meesta started kindergarten. They all climbed the trees, they hunted for Easter eggs, they built snowmen, they rode bikes, swam in the pool - and they LOVED that house too. We are all a bit sad.

BUT, we are now MUCH less in debt than we were Friday morning, we are on a very clear path to D becoming a Navy chaplain and our family traveling the world. We can focus our energies on the kids and their activities, our educational goals, our jobs, our health, and continuing to reduce our debt AND our garage full of STUFF that ended up here (not to mention the storage unit that is also almost full).

It is the end of an era in some ways and the beginning of adjustment and a new way of life.