Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Circle of Love

A lot has been going on in our household since I last wrote. So much but I must capture it somehow.

Work has been very busy with some personnel challenges that have made the week a bit more exhaustive, but things seem to be on the upswing.

We have 2 girls we consider our own in our hearts that live abroad and their situation is a bit precarious right now, causing much stress and heartache for D and I. We would adopt them in a heartbeat, but that is out of our control and not possible. It seems that there is much that will happen in the near future, we are just praying that these events are positive ones for their lives.

We continue to deal with the after-effects of losing D's father, something that will likely never change, but we are still learning how to deal with life without him. D's mom stopped by the other night and S was sitting on her lap and began playing with the ring on her necklace - my father-in-law's wedding band. It was a simple act of a small child playing with some jewelry, but it was so much more than that at the same time. I found that it caught my breath as I witnessed S playing with that circle of gold around my mother-in-law's neck, both of them smiling. It instantly made me miss my FIL, he was a great man who loved me, which meant so much to me given that I did not grow up with a father. But, it also made me contemplate the wedding band itself.

My wedding band/engagement ring set mean so much to me, they are symbolic of so much more than the simple elements that comprise those rings. D and I have been together for a LONG time, since I was a freshman in high school, and when he decided to ask me to marry him, he was a very poor college senior! I later discovered that the funds to buy my ring set were obtained literally through his blood - he donated his plasma for $ to buy me a beautiful ring set. It means so much to me because of his love for me and his willingness to sacrifice for me, even back then. It is interesting now in my corporate world where I work with lots of people who make lots of money, married later in life, and carry around huge rocks on their left ring finger. I can guarantee that none of those rings was purchased with more love than my beautiful set. Some friends of ours had her ring "upgraded" just a few years after they were married and I told D that I would NEVER want that done, no matter if I had all the money in the world (which I certainly do not by the way).

All this to say, hold closely those in your circle of love, share with them your feelings, appreciate them for what they give to you emotionally and physically, and cherish every minute. Be willing to take risks for those you love, they are worth it. I fully realize that there have been and will be in the future, times when my love is not appreciated, reciprocated, or even acknowledged - but I am in a place where I feel able to put myself out there for those I love, despite the costs, emotionally or financially.


Sunday, March 26, 2006


It has been a busy weekend at our household, one of those when we are hardly ever at home and when we are, it is spent trying to keep up with laundry, etc. Those necessities that are really never fun to do. I honestly think that I spent 3 hours PUTTING AWAY CLOTHES on Saturday - I think that my mode of operation of purchasing more clothes is backfiring...better to do laundry;).

Anyway, this weekend has also been full of laughter, and laughter is one of the things that reminds me to take pause and truly enjoy my life. We have it good, I have it good, I need to remember and appreciate!

So we were out at our favorite Thai restaurant on Saturday evening and my mother was joining us. The place was hopping and our table was near the kitchen. Well, my mother had brought my oldest daughter a matching undies/undertop combo with Strawberry Shortcake on it, and she thought it was about the best thing ever, truly. We met the hubster and my son at the restaurant as they had been out doing their own thing for the afternoon. (All of this is the set up...just wait for it...) The whole way to the restaurant, my daughter kept saying she wanted to show daddy her new underroos...I kept telling her no, when we get home you can show him. Well, as if I thought she would listen.

I was up at the counter/kitchen area paying and I hear my hubster say "XX, Pull YOUR PANTS UP!" I turn around in slow motion and to my shock and horror, see my dear daughter with her pants at her ANKLES because she desperately wanted to show off her new underroos. All I could do was laugh, how awful of a mom am I??? I think it was my embarrassment added to the fact that it truly was hysterical (in that oh my gosh embarrassing fashion). There was absolutely nothing I could do about it, the pants were down, and I was a bit away in distance, and so I laughed, pretty much uncontrollably. My own mother later chastized me for laughing saying I embarrassed my daughter I did apologize to her (my daughter) ...but my gosh, it was truly one of those moments you read about from other people, like in a magazine...not something that happens to ME! Nonetheless, it provided more laughter. I also know that I will never in my life forget that moment when I saw my beautiful little girl standing there, pants at ankles, determined to show her daddy her new dun-da-duhs, location irrelevent!

It is hard for me to realize that I cannot control all aspects of my life, but I am doing my best to remember that I should enjoy it. We only have one trip around and I am determined to enjoy it.

On a side note, my friends who have read this blog so far, can't believe I am calling myself Midwest Mama - and it truly is not very reflective of who I am, so I am going to make it simple and call myself what my dear husband calls me, B. Plain and simple. I don't feel quite comfortable sharing real names at this point, so we are going to keep with the pseudo-anonymous for now.


Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Lights

This evening our family had dinner at a church function and then given that we are frequently going in multiple directions in both vehicles (we love funding the pockets of the fuel industry executives...), I left to drive the 25-minute drive back to our home with the cherubs, hubby about 10 minutes behind me. As I drove the familiar path towards one of the towns we travel through, there were 2 very large lights shining in the air above the town, similar to lights one sees during a high school football game. I would not normally think anything of that, but something made them very noticeable to me and I realized that a) it is not football season, b) there is no school in that direction, and c) the hair on my arms is a bit raised. Doing what any modern girl would do, I picked up my cell phone to call my beloved to get reassurance that he indeed saw the lights as well and I was truly not losing my mind, or as had begun to come to my mind, being called into the afterlife. I know, dramatic, I am crazy, but it was very weird.

The hubster did not see these lights, further disturbing, but we rationalized that it could be the lights similar to those used in car dealerships with the goal of attracting naive buyers to follow the light to the brand new car, much the same as the bug lights attract the bugs to their death. I am certain that as I sign any car loan, there is a "zap" sound somewhere, likely multiple places...a zap that says, got another sucker! I digress...back to the lights...whatever they may or may not have been, they got me thinking. If this is it, am I ready? I did not feel scared and quite honestly did ask God for forgiveness, but felt at peace. It sounds very intense, but truly it was a rather calm experience, both emotionally and physically. I am one known to like control, okay, so I am almost ALWAYS in control, and yet as the realization that this could be THE LIGHT that people describe, I did not feel concerned that I had no control.

My lesson in this further highlights my reason for blogging here, life is short, remember how good my life is and that it is my job to share that joy with others, share my blessings with others, and live a good life, one in which God and my family are proud.

Until later,
Midwest Mama

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

This Good...

Round 'em up!

Well, today my beloved and I (along with the 3 cherubs...touch of sarcasm) attended a kindergarten round up at our local public school. I was a bit nervous in advance of this event...with good reason. The child next to me was dressed in his pajamas...the pregnant mother across from me smelled very much of cigarette smoke...and my judgement radar came out in full force. It is something I try not to do and I have had so much difficulty with in my attempt to live a Christian life, but alas I failed miserably today. Given that our children are of a different race than 99% of the other children in our community, I have always had a bit of trepidation about how public school might go - today made D and I a bit concerned about the possibility of this public school. I am going to do a bit of investigating about other possible options, but I am nervous. The final reason that made us a bit nervous was the comment from one of the K teachers stating that one of the things they will learn is how to tell time...and that we should NOT teach them that over the summer because what would she be able to teach them during the school year. I really don't want to have a teacher suggesting that I hold my children back - is that wrong?

On another note, we all went to a cool concert at a local college this evening and it was so cool. Our youngest is a complete musical prodigy - we are convinced (okay, I know we ARE her parents and she is likely just the same as everyone...), and she bee bopped her way through the concert. It had lots of steel drums and African beat dancing and awesome instruments, it was v. cool! It did not begin until 8:00 though, which had us home at about 9:30, waaayyyy past bedtime, and we left after intermission. Fortunately baths were taken in advance of the event, so we are ready for school and the "graduation" pictures that are occurring at our preschool tomorrow. Seems crazy and yet I know I will cherish these pictures so much as they grow older.

Different topic, at some point in the future, we would love to live very close to a college campus so that these opportunities are more frequent. More to come on that in the future hopefully, time will tell.

All for now, I will keep the situation updated based on what happens with the school situation.

Midwest Mama
This Good...
Round 'em up!


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Okay, so here I own ramblings about my life. My goal is to journal my life in an attempt to slow down and remember how many blessings I truly have in my life.

Short synopsis of myself for anyone who reads:
  • Married to my high school sweetheart and best friend
  • Mom to 3 fabulous kids, more waiting to join our family I believe...time will tell
  • Employee in a large corporation, but I love what I do
  • Volunteer president of a not-for-profit that benefits a third world country
  • Midwest, born and raised...would love to live elsewhere at some point
  • Constantly attempting to lose about 30 pounds in an attempt to get back down (finally) to my wedding weight...

I have become addicted to blogs myself, they are like mini-books to me in a way, stories of people's lives are my favorite genre of books and that is what blogs are for me...short breaks in my day when I can catch up on my "books". Given that I have a bit of a problem enjoying the moment and am always looking toward the next hurdle, I am hoping this will allow me to capture what is important in my life, despite my schedule, and remember that life is This Good.

Happy reading.