Saturday, April 05, 2008

Coming Up With a Prayer

I have found a new friend and that is exciting. It is hard to find someone with whom you connect and really WANT to connect. We shall call her Red because she has this beautiful red hair. We met because our kids had gymnastics at the same time and while sitting in the same room waiting, I met her mother who goes to our church (who had come to watch her grandson), and then Red and I just clicked. We have similar personalities and senses of humor and she is just a real blessing for me and we are slowly getting to know each other. It is kind of odd, like dating, because most of my friends are from work or from college or from adoption (war buddies), and she and I have to make an effort to connect because my kids are not doing gymnastics right now. But, one of the greatest parts about her is that she is a great Christian and a career woman who is also a mom. All those qualities are hard to come by in a friend (that you also click with), so I am praying that Red and I continue down our path because I have been missing having a close friendship like that. I didn't realize it really, but once I met her, I realized that I had that gap for sure. Her son is adorable and her husband is funny and sarcastic too, my kind of family!

Anyway, I tell you about Red because we were talking this weekend and I was discussing how I am already getting that catch in my throat when I think about D going away and being gone for 2 months this summer for Navy training. I am really trying to keep my calm and cool demeanor, but on the inside I am freaking out. The rationale side of me knows that going to the East Coast for 2 months is a far cry from going to the MIDDLE EAST for 15 months, and that he will be fine and all of that happy stuff. The irrational (and seemingly dominant) side of my brain says OH MY GOSH, MY BEST FRIEND, MY KIDS' DAD, MY LOVER, MY EVERYTHING, is going to be gone for 2 months. My chest gets tight, my eyes sting and my nose burns at it all. Now, I don't mean to insinuate that I am not a very independent chick, because I truly am, but I love this man so much and home is where he is. I will miss him painfully and the kids, well, I will obviously do my best to maintain an optimistic outlook, but they will miss him so much. He plays differently with them, he knows how to roughhouse, he LIKES to play outside (I really don't...), he lightens the mood when I am frustrated, he brings another perspective. I am going to miss him terribly.

So, Red comes up with a beautiful suggestion, every time I feel this way or when he is gone and I am missing him (by the minute), that I should come up with a prayer to say in my head that will strengthen me and carry me through this challenge. See why I like her? What a great idea. So, I am in the midst of trying to find a calming, strengthening prayer that I can call my own that will help. I know that I tend to be very self-sufficient and do not rely on God enough, even though I am fully aware that I am able to be self-sufficient through the gifts that God has given me. I don't like to be vulnerable though and this position leaves me in a position that is not really comfortable. I keep reminding myself though that it is through those times that I can grow in my walk with God.

Any other suggestions?

Life is This Good,


Christina said...

Isn't it funny how much friendships are like dating? Weird, but true! And I go nuts when Hubby is gone for 2 days, I can not imagine 2 months. So I shall be praying for you. I think Red's suggestion was a great one. When I was younger, I used to pray that God would be on the surface of my life that day - by that I meant that he would stay at the front of my mind and inhabit everything I did. And it was surprising how often it felt like He was right there. In fact, I think I ought to start praying that again, because it's just too easy for me to push him aside and focus on my Do List and find at the end of the day that I haven't really been aware of God or how he might have been trying to work in me that day. Anyway, I'm sure God will help you find just the prayer for you and I know you will grow in your walk with Him this summer. And hopefully the time that D is away will go very quickly!

Dedicated said...

Wow, I love Red's idea - if you guys don't mind, I'm going to take it on myself.

Sometimes things just seem heavy. At the bottom we always pray for help - but when it comes to sustaining, we shoulder the burdens alone.

I think the thing to remember is we are not weak, when we search for guidence and help.

Laura said...

Glad you made a friend that ministers to you! What a blessing!!