How do you know?

So a question has been popping into my mind more and more lately, and I just can't come to a settled conclusion. What, you ask, would puzzle CC to such an extent? It is simple, is our family complete?

It is such an overwhelming question and there are days that I say yes, and moooostly mean it, but most of the time I say no and do meet it. I believe we have another son, somewhere, out there, you know, somewhere. It would be adoption as our babies don't arrive the traditional way, but the work and time and funds that are involved are all-consuming and I just don't know if I have it in me to do it again. The adoption of the twins was very very difficult and I truly likely have a bit of adoption PTSD because of it all. Shenzy's was less traumatic, but still all-consuming.

When I ponder whether our family is complete or not, I typically come to the conclusion that it is not, but that our son (should there be one...somewhere) will find us. What does that mean - well I am not sure exactly. I just have the feeling that somehow we will be notified about a child that needs a family. That has been my gut instinct as I have prayed about this over the last year or so.

Tonight, I received an email from a friend informing me of a situation about a boy that might not be able to stay in his home and I could not help but wonder if this was him. I do not have that gut instinct that it is absolutely him, but I wondered. Time will tell of course, and perhaps our next (and final) child will "adopt" us when he is older, a friend of one of our kids or something, maybe that is what my gut is telling me.

With our 3 here plus our 2 girls in Cambodia, you would think I would not have these thoughts, but we have a lot of love and the resources to care for another child (sans the college tuition thing...) and I wonder if we are done? How do you know?

CC

Thankful

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, it isn't about presents, just family and good food. For the past 3 years we have had "nontraditional" Turkey Days, last year we rented a cool log cabin in the woods and spent our time playing games, hiking, and enjoying the hot tub in the dark; the year before that we were in Florida as well as the year before that.

This year D and I made a traditional meal and had our moms come over to eat with us. It was nice and relaxing, and the kids enjoyed time with their grandmas. I have always been thankful for the relationship our parents have had, easy-going and non-threatening with each other.

We then went up to my Aunt P's house, where my other aunt, uncle and cousins were as well and we played Apples to Apples and Outburst, both fun - but very loud games with the number of us and our spouses, etc. It was nice to be with Aunt P though as this was her first year without my uncle who passed away in February to cancer. I am thankful that she is continuing onward and trying to find joy when and where she can, despite her tremendous loss.

I am so thankful that we have healthy happy children, including our girls in Cambodia. They have been in contact with us and they have hopes and dreams for the future that hopefully we can help them fulfill. We continue to be concerned over our Doodlebug's epilepsy, but must remain positive and thankful that she is here and we can get her the best treatment available for it. Meesta and Shenzy remain their delightful selves as well, full of fun and life.

I am constantly giving thanks for my husband and our relationship. While we have been through some serious transitions this year with school, moving, selling house, him being gone so much, etc - we have come through it stronger than ever and more committed to our dreams and goals. I am blessed beyond belief.

I am thankful for a warm and safe house, enough food to eat, transportation, my faith, my family and my friends.

I AM THANKFUL.

Life is This Good...
CC

SOLD

After many prayers and some concessions to a very rich and much older man...our beautiful home has sold. This is a very good thing, but also sad. We loved that house, it was a dream come true for 2 kids who grew up fairly poor. I had envisioned seeing our kids float down the stairs in their finery for their first dance...their prom...graduation...weddings. That house was where we brought our Shenzy home to and where Doodle and Meesta started kindergarten. They all climbed the trees, they hunted for Easter eggs, they built snowmen, they rode bikes, swam in the pool - and they LOVED that house too. We are all a bit sad.

BUT, we are now MUCH less in debt than we were Friday morning, we are on a very clear path to D becoming a Navy chaplain and our family traveling the world. We can focus our energies on the kids and their activities, our educational goals, our jobs, our health, and continuing to reduce our debt AND our garage full of STUFF that ended up here (not to mention the storage unit that is also almost full).

It is the end of an era in some ways and the beginning of another...an adjustment and a new way of life.

CC

317

My cholesterol level is 317. You might think I am lying and am actually a 500-pound truckdriver who never exercises and only eats fast food. Mysteries of the internet...

Seriously, 317. I have just turned 34 years old, I have 3 children, no gall bladder, tonsils or adenoids, but otherwise really healthy. I am scared and have let barely a hint of cholesterol pass my lips since I discovered this fact a week ago. I am already on meds, hopefully just until I get it down to a reasonable level, I have kicked up my workout routines and am eating only what God has made, nothing processed.

It's all about the cholesterol reduction right now.

Other updates:
*We had a fantastic time in Friday Harbor, I could seriously live there.
*We are supposed to sell our house THIS FRIDAY...please, please let it happen
*We have to have everything OUT of our house this Friday...by 10:00 a.m. - YIKES.
*D is rocking school, but it takes every waking hour.
*I am swamped at work and preparing to start my PhD program on Dec. 3...I think I have lost my mind, but am very excited.
*The kids are so very excited about Halloween, they are so stinking cute and had a party on Saturday where they dressed up, so cute that I almost wanted to break my ban on posting their pics, but I will try to withhold.

Despite all of this, I am relieved that I live in a country where I have access to healthcare and medications and that I can afford this healthcare.

Life is still this good.
CC

Pchum Ben Festival

Our two girls who still live in Cambodia, L and L, are always near and dear to our hearts. One commented to me recently about the upcoming Pchum Ben Festival in Cambodia and I had to stupidly admit that I had no idea what it was, so I turned to Prof. Google and thought I would enlighten my memory in the future and any readers who might be so inclined to want to know...

One of our girls said that people visit their families and travel far sometimes, but that unfortunately they could not visit theirs - meaning us, this makes my heart so heavy. But, there is nothing more we can do but provide for them in Cambodia the best we can and love and pray for them, which we do.

"In Cambodia, there are various religious festivals. Among those, Prachum Benda (”Ancestors’ Day”), more commonly known as Pchum Ben, is a big Cambodian religious festival, culminating in celebrations on the 15th day of the tenth month in the Khmer Calendar. It lasts for fifteen days. Pchum Ben is the fifteenth and final day of the ceremony and consists of a large gathering of laity for festivities at the local Buddhist temple. The days leading up to Pchum Ben are known as Kann Ben. In 2007, the holiday falls on the 11th of October in the Gregorian calendar.

Religiously, Cambodians believe that although most living creatures are reincarnated at death. However, due to bad karma, some souls are not reincarnated but rather remain trapped in the spirit world. Each year, for fifteen days, these souls are released from the spirit world to search for their living relatives, meditate and repent. So, the fifteen-day is time when Cambodians pay their respects to deceased relatives. Furthermore, it is an important opportunity for living relatives to meditate and pray to help reduce the bad karma of their ancestors, thus enabling the ancestors to become reincarnated and leave the torment and misery of the spirit world. People cook meals for monks, bring offerings to the temple and throw rice near the temple early in the morning, believing that their ancestors will receive it.

Terminology:
Prachum Benda (Pchum Ben): meaning “gathering together to make offerings”
Prachum (Pchum): meaning “gathering together”
Benda (Ben): mean “offering”
Kann meaning “hosting or holding”
Source: Khmer Institute"

All Female Family Vacation...

Well, I have finally recovered from my trip to Florida with the women in my family, 1 mom, 2 aunts and 2 cousins made the trip. Exactly WHEN did this sound like a good idea????? Oh yes, one of the cousins is pregnant. Well, we did enjoy some beverages and if you can't tell, this little picture is of a monkey - a monkey that hangs on the side of your drinks, one of my aunts brought them along for the festivity and they became a joke about being the object of affection for the little geckos/lizards that were everywhere down there. Sick humor, yes, I am aware.

Let's just say, families feel free to be themselves, the good, the bad, and the ugly with each other. We had lots of laughs, but bad moods were evident and feelings were hurt at times, I guess that it just the way families are - or is it just mine?

At home now, D and Meesta have colds. The old house is hopefully going to be sold/close at the very end of October/beginning of November, seriously praying that it does.

D was officially commissioned into the United States Navy as an ensign on Friday, the first layer in the officer realm. The ceremony was short and sweet but very meaningful and truly signifies a new adventure for our family.

I have also been working on getting my application in for a PhD program and it is almost done...so I am about to embark on something I have always wanted to complete.

The kids are doing well though, I am running too much and 1st grade is still kicking our behinds, but we are making it.

Be back soon!

CC

Tabitha USA

Heather, your question about our foundation "outs" me in a way, but in a good way I guess. I have always maintained somewhat of an anonymous stance on my blog, but I have never said anything I would be ashamed of or feel does not represent me, so I guess I am going to out my identity in a way.

Our 2 oldest children were born in Cambodia and we had a year-long struggle to bring them home through a rather politically tumultuous time regarding Cambodian adoptions. I was very outspoken about this situation and the year gave me time to fall in love with the country and realize my responsibility as an adoptive parent to not just take these children in need, but to open my eyes to ALL of those in need. I learned a lot during that year, and of course even more since then. I wanted to support an organization that was truly helping people to help themselves, not giving a hand out, rather a hand up. We found these qualities and a spitfire of a director through the Tabitha Foundation, a non-governmental organization (NGO).

Shortly after arriving back home from adopting our children, I emailed the director and asked her why there was not a Tabitha USA as there were organizations in Canada, Australia and the UK. Her reply will never be forgotten by me, "Because no one has ever asked." Well, that was the voice of God smacking me in the face and telling me to get off my duff and make a difference if I could.

I bought books, researched the internet and learned truly how to start a not-for-profit (as a dummy). I have a biology undergrad and a master's degree in clinical psychology - I have never in my life taken a business course! But, many stressful months after I began, we had our not-for-profit status and we were off and running. We became Tabitha USA at that point.

Since I am "out" now, I will talk more frequently and fervently about Tabitha USA as it is a passion of mine. It is all-consuming, exhausting and ever so rewarding all at the same time. We are in our 4th year of operations and have helped raise over $300,000.00 so far to help the people of Cambodia through housebuilding, well digging, tuition payments, cow purchases, bicycle purchases, seed purchases, and on and on. You can find a list of options through our website by clicking on the community development tab at the top.

I thought I would check on YouTube to see if I found anything and by golly I did. This video was made by some volunteers through Tabitha Australia so while the contact information at the end is not the same, it gives you an idea of how housebuilding trips go (and this is just one part of what our organization does). We have had the fortune of actively participating in 2 such builds and are planning our 3rd for next year. Suffice it to say, once you go and experience an adventure like this, you are forever changed for the better.

Thanks to Mark from Tabitha Australia for the video!

This one is cool too and a bit of an "ad" for a trip upcoming next year. It is pretty cool as well. As a global foundation, it is nice that we can use the talents and ideas of everyone to work towards the improvement of so many lives in Cambodia.

CC