ALONE on Father's Day

I am alone. ALONE. A state I will admit I was looking a bit forward to as the time for me to leave for my conference approached. But I have been here a little over 24 hours and I miss my family so fiercely that it surprises me. It's just a little trip, what is my problem? I am not sure, but I even got teary talking to them on the phone. This is NOT LIKE ME. I am a confident, self-secure, capable and competent woman. I am also a mom and it seems to be a part of every cell of my body. My body knows that the nutrients required by my body for functioning, D, Doodle, Meesta, and Shenzy (and L and L - but I have never not known them living in Cambodia, but my heart still misses them every day) are not being supplied, and it is going through withdrawal. I will buck up though and once the conference gets going, things will be better.

On to this locale, Atlanta. I took a walk this morning around 11ish and must confess, I was uncomfortable. There were cops on the corners of several of the corners and LOTS of folks walking around in non-stable states, at least to my trained eye. I walked about 10 blocks and then 10 blocks back and I was the ONLY woman walking alone. It was the middle of the day and yet, I trucked it back to the hotel, purse tightly under my arm. It is a shame and I am normally quite comfortable to be brave and traverse about, exploring whatever I can. But, I am not without common sense and I am very aware with a pretty good "sense" of safety, and I felt unsafe today without a doubt. Thank you God for walking with me.

I have spent the last 24 hours reading a book, will review it here very soon. It was good for the most part, a bit repetitive in parts and a little too drawn out for me, but still an enjoyable read.

I think that I might be a bit sad today because I stupidly flew down yesterday, not realizing when I made the reservations months ago that it was Father's Day today. D is home alone with the kids being the best dad in the world. His usual state. He is the most amazing dad I have ever known and he is everything I always wanted for my children. I did not have a dad, not even an "absent" one, I never knew him, he wanted nothing to do with me and my mom never forced him to. This aspect of my life no doubt helped determine my future mate, I knew I had to have someone who very much wanted children, someone with patience and an infinite capacity to love. D is this and so much more. What I have learned makes him an even better dad is his complete love for me. He hugs me, kisses me, talks to me, asks my opinion, touches me when he walks by and generally makes our house the happy home that it is - all showing our children a happy relationship, modeling what I hope for them in the future.

D - thank you for being the best husband and friend I could dream of; thank you for being the best father, you are beyond amazing. Seeing you still makes my heart flutter, even more so when you are holding our children, teaching them something, tucking them in, loving them unconditionally. Happy Father's Day D! You are my world.

I never dreamed that life could be This Good...but it is:)
CC

Get Thee to DSW!

No, this is not a paid advertisement, but go, run, do not walk to DSW Shoe Warehouse. I just did a bit of retail therapy for my upcoming trip to Atlanta and went in - I came out 20 minutes, 4 pair of shoes, and $61.00 later. Wow.

I am presenting at a conference and am beginning to get nervous, hopefully it will go well. It is talking on what I do all the time for a living so it should not be a big deal, but still, it is the presenting in front of a bunch of strangers. I need to spend some time practicing it and then I will get comfortable.

More later - thanks D and Chris - I still read you all faithfully, glad you missed me!

CC

Alive

Despite reports to the contrary, I am alive and well. I can't believe I have been away for almost a month. Things have been busier than normal, but D is done with school for the summer - THANK GOD (literally) and hopefully I can get caught up on everything and get back to my blogging therapy.

Personal updates: house is for sale (v. hard to keep house clean with 3 young children...we still don't know when other house will be available...where will we live?!), job is interesting, weight is same (I know, I owe the internet a fat girl picture!), summer travel is about to heat up (GO SKYBUS!), Doodle has 2 loose teeth (OH MY GOSH, it is freaking me out), softball and baseball are almost over (NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON), I need a pedicure in the worst way.

Okay, once I hit the necessity of a pedicure, I know my list is derailing quickly.

I will write more soon, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, just hope it is not that speeding train...

Life is this good,
CC