Sunday, March 22, 2009

Trying Not to Judge

I found myself in a position where I was uncomfortable with my own thoughts. I was very judgmental.

Following the dental appointments of last week with Dr. G, she recommended that I get the kids a specific electric toothbrush. Well, I try to be compliant, so before dance class, we popped into our local CVS to get said toothbrushes. After weaving through the maze of about 12 bazillion choices (seriously, I know competition is good and all but way too many choices and options), I take my 3 cherubs and procured toothbrushes to the counter to pay. In line in front of me was a rail thin lady who had a little baby, probably 9 months old or so in her cart, sleep outfit on, no coat, but hat (v. chilly out that day). She was checking out her goods...a 24-case of Old Milwaukee beer and a 2-pack of pregnancy tests.

Here is where I began my judgemental process....uggghhh!!! Now, it could be that neither or only one of those purchases were intended for her consumption/use. Who knows? But me, I found myself judging her including where she lived, who the father was, how cared for this child was, what social services she was getting money from, and on and on... Shocking how quickly and how in depth I took my little mental judgemental tirade in the span of a minute or two, but I did.

By admitting this, I am hopeful that I will try to stop myself the next time I head down this path. Hopefully, this lady was not both pregnant and intent on downing the case of beer. Hopefully the child she had already is well cared for and the lack of a coat on a chilly day was an oversight. Hopefully she is capable of supporting herself or her partner is supporting his family. Hopefully there is love and stability and the snapshot of the purchases actually speaks nothing of the situation.

Working on myself all the time, I am not to judge as I do not wish for others to judge me!!

I am a work in progress...



Dedicated said...

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I won the judgmental award, you can be my runner up though.

I was in line at Walmart, in February. It was a very cold single digit day. The kind where you never really warm up in the store, since the wind chills you down to the bone. I wore my wool coat the entire hour shopping.

(had to give you the picture I saw)

I'm unloading my cart and looking up at a Mom with a 1 WEEK old baby (cashier asked), picking up groceries with her mom (the grandma) helping. I have never in my life, seen such irresponsible-ness. They had this tiny little one without socks or shoes, open blanket, no jacket or layers, just clothes (pants and top) & NO HAT. I watched them not even wrap the baby up, but march right outside with baby like that.

I tell you I was fuming. I couldn't help myself. I didn't say anything, but.... makes me wonder why some have kids. You know what I mean. That baby deserved to be bundled and could not do it itself.

I still think about that poor little one - because this is the crazy that is me. Or maybe it is because the elderly cashier that looked at me and said "I know what your thinking". Evidently, it was all over my face.

Yes, I am Bad! I even asked God to forgive me, because this bothered me so much. Then I BEGGED him for help. :-)

CC said...

Sooo hard isn't it, when you know some things could be so much better! Grrr...

Joe said...

I think the problem is that we're not judgmental ENOUGH.

Always a Southern Girl said...

Oh how wonderful to have found your blog. We have been thinking about international adoption, but don't really know where to start. I am going to get to reading your blog for some tips!

cc said...

Hi Always a Southern Girl - feel free to contact me with any questions!

I will head to your blog and see if there is a way to send you a private email. I LOVE to talk adoption!