Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Identity Crisis

Yes, it has been 6 months since I have visited.  I could provide a million excuses, but let's just suffice it to say that life has been its usually busy self - on fast forward.  So, let's do a quick recap for my own memory's sake.

The kids finished their first school year wonderfully, this area is good for them for sure.  Meesta is now on the competitive men's gymnastics team at our local gym - he is doing amazing and his little body is changing right in front of our eyes.  Such a wonderful and handsome little guy.  Doodle is on the performance team for gymnastics and has also taken a strong interest in sewing, for which we have hired someone to teach her given that I am completely inept in that area.  Shenzy is doing wonderfully, also sprouting right up but also seemingly so little too.  She is on the competitive dance team and is also learning to play the violin - she has lots of talent in her little self.  They are all just amazing kids and I am so blessed that I am their mom.

D is doing great, the congregation has welcomed us and especially him with lots of love - and food!  He continues to be my biggest supporter, my best friend, and all that other gooey stuff.  He is simply amazing and I wish our happiness for every marriage.

Me, I have finally finished all the coursework for my PhD - what a long road, 3 years of essentially nonstop classes (1 week break between quarters really doesn't count as a break in my opinion)!  I am now trying to buckle down and get the dissertation written.  I am such a deadline person, it has been hard for me to work on it and I have rather enjoyed the lack of stress and constant due dates for homework.  Just in the last 2 weeks I have started kicking it into gear, finally!  I really want to be done in 2011, so I must press on as there are lots of waiting periods and I need to stay on top of this to get it done. 

Now, for the identify crisis.  Despite all the positives above, I am still very discontent.  I am ready for a new daily purpose.  My work provides the needs, but I am lacking that internal drive to keep doing what I am forever.  I need more purpose.  I want to take my passions for international development work, especially with women and children, to the next level and make it my career.  This is a huge jump and I am nervous, but I know that deep down, I am nearing the end of my tolerance for my current role.  The superficiality and nonsense are a struggle to deal with.  The importance of what I am doing seem to be lost and I am ready for meaning in my career. 

OK, all for now, hopefully I will be here more often.

*I am presently praying fervently for a child in Haiti named Kephania.  She is an orphan and is very ill.  She has captured my heart.

Life is Good...but I can make it better!

1 comment:

kristen said...

I prayed for kephania too.