Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Circle of Love

A lot has been going on in our household since I last wrote. So much but I must capture it somehow.

Work has been very busy with some personnel challenges that have made the week a bit more exhaustive, but things seem to be on the upswing.

We have 2 girls we consider our own in our hearts that live abroad and their situation is a bit precarious right now, causing much stress and heartache for D and I. We would adopt them in a heartbeat, but that is out of our control and not possible. It seems that there is much that will happen in the near future, we are just praying that these events are positive ones for their lives.

We continue to deal with the after-effects of losing D's father, something that will likely never change, but we are still learning how to deal with life without him. D's mom stopped by the other night and S was sitting on her lap and began playing with the ring on her necklace - my father-in-law's wedding band. It was a simple act of a small child playing with some jewelry, but it was so much more than that at the same time. I found that it caught my breath as I witnessed S playing with that circle of gold around my mother-in-law's neck, both of them smiling. It instantly made me miss my FIL, he was a great man who loved me, which meant so much to me given that I did not grow up with a father. But, it also made me contemplate the wedding band itself.

My wedding band/engagement ring set mean so much to me, they are symbolic of so much more than the simple elements that comprise those rings. D and I have been together for a LONG time, since I was a freshman in high school, and when he decided to ask me to marry him, he was a very poor college senior! I later discovered that the funds to buy my ring set were obtained literally through his blood - he donated his plasma for $ to buy me a beautiful ring set. It means so much to me because of his love for me and his willingness to sacrifice for me, even back then. It is interesting now in my corporate world where I work with lots of people who make lots of money, married later in life, and carry around huge rocks on their left ring finger. I can guarantee that none of those rings was purchased with more love than my beautiful set. Some friends of ours had her ring "upgraded" just a few years after they were married and I told D that I would NEVER want that done, no matter if I had all the money in the world (which I certainly do not by the way).

All this to say, hold closely those in your circle of love, share with them your feelings, appreciate them for what they give to you emotionally and physically, and cherish every minute. Be willing to take risks for those you love, they are worth it. I fully realize that there have been and will be in the future, times when my love is not appreciated, reciprocated, or even acknowledged - but I am in a place where I feel able to put myself out there for those I love, despite the costs, emotionally or financially.


1 comment:

Christina said...

Beautiful ... and a good reminder too. My wedding set was also "dainty" (as one kind woman said after looking at my tiny diamond!) because it was bought while we were in college. And even worse, I lost my engagement ring a couple of years ago, so now all I have is the band. It's rather unobtrusive and I've thought about getting a new band if only to make the "I'm Married" statement clearer (yeah as if the 3 kids don't already do that!) ... but like you I'm very attached to this particular ring. But I wouldn't be upset if B. decided to get me a beautiful anniversary band for the other hand! ;-)

On a more serious note, I'm sorry for the loss of your FIL. And I will continue to pray for your girls. It's hard to have this ache for loved ones who can't be with us, for one reason or another.