Friday, April 21, 2006

Spring Clean Up

In my little burg where we have lived now for almost 9 years now, we have a tradition called Spring Clean Up. It is a unique thing, like a grand trash day of sorts where you can pile your trash spot to the brim with just about anything and everything. More and more trucks begin driving up and down the small streets the week of Spring Clean Up and culminates in a constant check on your pile to see what some RedNeck James Bond might want to utilize from your stuff that you were determined was junk, not even worthy of a Goodwill donation. The actual pick up is at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning and requires volunteers from the community to help the paid trash men to collect the mounds of junk. I know the overall intention is to keep our town looking nice and trash free, but I think that the people doing the obtaining from the trash piles in front of the homes, are the same people that the town was hoping would get RID of some of their junk. Sad that I find this all so interesting and look forward to this.

Besides my sick fascination with the vulture spring trash clean up and obvious lack of a remembering what a realllllly good time looked like, this process made me think about all areas of my life, I wish I could have an internal Spring Clean Up every year, that would be nice. I would pay the additional $5 on my utility bill for that, or could I go to my friendly doctor and see if they could do a clean up for a small fee, even not covered by insurance. As a mom, I think I am equipped with more than my fair share of guilt. I work outside the home, have 3 kids, work with the not-for-profit, work with another volunteer board, pretend to be on a committee at our church, and try to be a good wife and friend. I guess seeing that list, I can't help but have guilt because there is no way that any one person on the list gets the very best of me, hence the aforementioned guilt. Can I get a Spring Clean Up for my internal guilt, frustration, patience, extra weight, and the long to-do list that is rarely accomplished?

Wouldn't that be great. I hereby am giving myself a clean up! I am really trying to remember that life is short, my kids will only be young once, and the special moments in life aren't the big goals, rather the everyday moments. The moments when my baby eats 7 peeps and is so sticky and icky, but yet I can't resist hugging and kissing her sugary face or when she lays in her crib in the morning gently (and sometimes not-so-gently) babbling mama over and over again. The moments when my handsome little guy tells me that "actually, blood carries oxygen in your veins so you can live" and asks me to bend down when I pick him up at the babysitters and he places the most beautiful dandelions ever behind my ear so I can have flowers in my hair and be beautiful. The moments when my beautiful little girl holds my face in her hands, kisses me and tells me I am the best mommy in the whole wide world and when I see her treat her baby sister with such love and gentleness that I have hope that I am doing something right with them all. I have hope that I am not just the nagging mom who is constantly critiquing and critizing in an effort to make them into good people in the long run, but that I am also showing them love and acceptance, gentleness and kindness. This parenting gig is not easy, that is for sure, but it is the best thing I have ever done and will ever do in my life, of that I am convinced. No degree, work accolade, or external accomplishment will compare to being the mother to these awesome little people.

Life is this good...


1 comment:

Christina said...

I'm right there with ya on the guilt. Schedules not so jam-packed, but still don't feel like I give my best to everyone. Oh and that neighborhood spring clean up thing would really make me feel guilty - proof everyone is cleaning and thus so should I!!