Thursday, March 22, 2007

Of Raccoons and Kids

Now don't think I am going to go all Steinbeck literate on you, not the case, but I am going to tell you about raccoons and kids and how BOTH can lead to one very sleepy mom. Yes, I realize this guy is cute in the picture, but I can tell you, he and all his comrades are NOT.

So sometime last year when D was away, I heard an "intruder" outside of my bedroom on the deck, where there sits a table that was being scooted as the "intruder" made their way to the french doors. To put it mildly, I was terrified. It was the middle of the night and I didn't know if I should call 911 immediately or if I should try to be brave and jump out of bed and turn on the deck light to scare them away. I almost wet the bed. Seriously. Well, I decided to be brave - with the cordless phone in my hand poised to dial 911 (I am ferocious) - I jumped out of bed, turned on the light and whisked back the curtain and there was my intruder. A raccoon, on the railing, sniffing about, not a bit scared that I had turned on the light. This began my not-so-lovey relationship with the raccoon.

Well about a week or so ago, middle of the night, I am woken up by sounds of the deck furniture being moved, but on the first floor of the deck. I lay there frozen thinking I am crazy and D is still sawing logs (poor guy he is getting no sleep with classes and work) I wait, hearing nothing I begin to drift back off to sleep...but I hear it again - this time on our level of the deck. In my rationale brain section, I know this is an animal, but in my people-are-sick-and-evil-and-I-have-3-children-to-protect brain section I know this is a violent killer (aren't my thoughts pleasant?!). So, I hit D and make him wake up (his title would be Of Wife and Kids), we both lay there a while, then still hearing noises, we look outside the window and see nothing. Okay, I have lost my mind, we go back to sleep. An hour later Shenzy wakes up crying with a raging fever and I spend the next several hours holding her downstairs while she insists sleep is no longer a necessity. I then must go off to work and pretend to have some intelligence left in my brain.

The next night, still tired, when my head finally hits the pillow I am more than ready and completely exhausted. Guess what - I know, you are WAY ahead of me - I hear the noise again. But the noise, this time it is LOUD, very LOUD and it sounds like it is tearing our second floor apart. I wake D up AGAIN (I swear he is so tired he would sleep through a tornado) and together we turn on the light and pull back the curtain. I swear I would not have believed it if I had not seen it with my own two eyes, the CURSED RACCOON WAS CLIMBING OUR HOUSE, HALF CHIMNEY HALF SIDING. You can imagine the noise his nails were making on the siding. At our banging on the door, he meandered down and slowly climbed off the house, off the railing and down the deck to the first level. I was MAD. I ran downstairs and got the broom and went off after him but he was already gone.

Groundhog Day, right? The next night it happened again - but this time I was awakened by sounds of someone (always thinking violent killer) on the ROOF, over our bedroom. Same scenario, this time the CURSED RACCOON hops down off the roof, then off the railing and gone again.

Well, D was more tired of me waking him up than anything, but he managed to get a live trap from one of the older guys at our church and it has now been set for about 4 days - and guess what, we have seen hide nor rotten hair of this creature.

So, between the CURSED RACCOON, sick kids, early rising kids, late nights studying, early to work and school - I am ready for some truly good good nights of full sleep. Blissful sleep. Ahhhh.

Wish me luck!


P.S. On the weight front, I joined WW today. I did it a couple of years ago and did well, so given my complete lack of motivating myself since the flood, I thought I would try financial pressure and the knowledge that this check, to whom I am paying money, is going to see how much I weigh each week. I am hopeful and actually excited!


Christina said...

It is amazing how the world conspires against us mom getting a good night's sleep. That raccoon would have really freaked me out too!

Giddy said...

Yipes! HOpe the raccoon goes away for good. I have photos of a possum rooting through a trash can on our old deck in Georgia...that was the last time we ever put a trash can on the deck.....fortunately it was a single night's visit!!!

I just finished The Glass Castle, which I read on your recommendation. You didn't know you recommended it, did you. heh, heh....I pay attention to your little book list, I do. Lemme know if you want to borrow my copy, now that I'm done!

This is b-day weekend at our house for E.....her cake will look nothing so spectacular as did yours. We're doing mini-cupcakes, and the party guests will decorate them themselves. (Unless I get inspired tomorrow morning. At least 3 of the attendees, including E, will have JUST been at a b-day party next door, so I figure mini is best so as not to oversugar the chilluns.) what is it with all the March b-days?!

D said...


I can just picture you running out with the broom. And the crowd yelling "our hero". LOL.

Don't mess with a mommy!!!

Heather said...

Reminds me of one summer up on the UP, when my stepbrother caught a raccoon in a garbage can & tried to hold the lid on. Boom, that raccoon shot the lid off the can & his 15 year old arm back like it was on springs. the expresson on his face (stepbrother not raccoon) was of total amazement.
Raccoons don't like to walk through common powered garden lime, available wherever they sell garden stuff. You may want to try that.
Heather BT