Sunday, April 15, 2007

From Mama to Mommy

My Shenzy, the angel pictured above (as shown in the newly non-finished basement), well she creates great passion in me, both positive and unfortunately negative as well. She has a very tenacious personality, which I love about her when it works my way...but then there are the other 49.9% of times when she does exactly as she should not, when she smirks when corrected, and when she generally ignores what we say to her.

Well, today was a day where she pushed every button I had at church, generally acting rotten, yet charming everyone else because she is so stinking cute. Makes me seem/feel like a mean mom who is frustrated with this cute little angel...another example of not judging a book by its cover! The testing of parental patience and limits continued the rest of today and then this evening, after too many warnings, she was dismissed from the supper table for putting her feet on the table and generally acting un-table-manner-like. So, she is sent to sit in the living room and she can still see me in the dining room and she begins to say "MMAAAAAMMMMMAAAAA" and I ignore her fairly successfully until it happens.

She started yelling "MOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEEE", like a switch was turned on and she was a big girl now. The pang in my heart surprised me. While most fibers of my being want her to get all the way potty-trained and speaking full sentences and generally a bit more grown up, the pang in my head, my heart, and my gut all told me that on some level, I will miss this little girl stage.

As much as I don't really consider myself a "baby person", I have immensely enjoyed holding her at night whenever she cries and needs me, rocking her to sleep and feeling her soft baby hair on my face as I cuddle close to her, knowing she NEEDS me in so many ways - both physically and emotionally, and the weight of her sleeping body when I pick her up from her carseat while she is asleep. [Many of these things Doodle and Meesta would not let us do as they came home at 18 months and did not WANT these things from rocking, never picked up while asleep, etc]

So, Shenzy, while I do want to stop changing your diaper, don't rush out and get your license or date boys or stop calling me Mama. You are it little lady, the youngest I believe we will ever have and my heart can't take you growing up TOO fast my sweet girl.

Life is THIS GOOD,


Christina said...

Shenzy looks so adorable in her angel costume. Isn't it amazing how kids can be so devious and so cute at the same time? (it's the "cute" that saves 'em, every time!) They do grow up, way too fast. But I think she's got a couple more years before she's borrowing the car keys. ;-)

D said...

I know those feelings and that cuteness. My little man has always had that as well. I warn everyone that says "he is sooo cute", that they need to walk carefully. My baby can play it.

It's all my fault too. I was just like you. "Awe, mommy's baby." It's just so hard! I think God does this on purpose, so we can deal with the bad things.

If it makes you feel better, I would melt to. She's so cute. I know, I know this is how they get you.